Life doesn't seems to ever go as planned. no matter how much you try, it never seems to happen the way that you want it to. for quite a few years, I have been wanting and waiting, and putting off getting my body lift surgery. It never seemed to be the right time... Money, kids emergency, husband laid off, then I was laid off, then finally get to a good place, and the cycle started again, hubby laid off, then I was laid off. It seems to be never ending. But I will make this happen. I have wished and longed, and waited. It will be my turn. I know it. I can feel it.
But God has other Plans... So, I had my labs done, and found out that I have anemia. And
that being said, I cannot have surgery until my labs improve. Come to find
out, my Primary Dr, never even told me that I was anemic, so (according
to my labs that I have to take every three months for my Thyroid) I have
been anemic for well over a year! In retrospect I realize that has been
the reason that I have felt quite fatigued, and feeling out of breath,
as well as having insomnia... I have also found out since then, that its
so serious that I could have passed out, and it could have lead to
heart problems. Hhmmm. Thanks to my surgeon, this has been discovered.
UNFORTUNATELY, that means that my surgery has to be postponed. This has
been so frustrating. I know that it is for my own safety, but it is so
disappointing. My surgery date was supposed to be for Friday (January
17) now I have to take a bunch of meds, and try to get my labs up, and
HOPE that I my iron levels will be up to par in a few weeks. So, who
knows WHEN I will actually be having surgery!
I have prepared
everything, I have a suitcase packed for the stay in the hospital, and
have the family ready to stand on their own for a few weeks. Now I just
need my body to cooperate!
I have taken this time to work on
some home projects that I have been putting off... I have painted rooms,
hung blinds, shelves, and pics, etc. Now my latest project has been
removing paint - 7 layers to be exact, from my bathroom cabinets, sanded
and I will be working on staining it this week.
While on my to
Church this morning, I found a beautiful old door that was being
discarded... this will be my next project... a new desk! I am going to
clean it up and re-stain it, and find some old legs, and a Plexiglas for
the top. Yup, it is all about keeping busy for the next few weeks, and
making sure I take my meds, get some walking in, and try not to over
exert myself.
This journey that I am on has been challenging. I
have waited so long for this, and it was finally here, and I feel like
it is slowly slipping out of my grasp. I have been having nightmares
about my Dr. telling me that I gained weight and now I cant have
surgery, or that he didn't like me and I would not be having surgery.
I
try not to think about things that are out of my control. At Church,
the sermon was a based around a verse that I always look to, Proverbs
3:5, very befitting for me right now. Trust in the Lord.
Always a good reminder. It is hard not to believe in God, when you are facing a major surgery, and knowing that you have to look at your own mortality, and just have to have blind faith that God will bring you thru it all....
Hopefully I will have good news soon...
Saturday, December 14, 2013
Thursday, November 21, 2013
And so my story begins...
January 2007, was the first day of my new life...
Let me take you back a little further... for several years I had suffered from a Thyroid condition that went undiagnosed for 8 years. I had many doctors tell me that I was just fat and the best thing that I could do what just get off the couch and walk. REALLY... you think if things were THAT easy, then I would have thought of that myself!? It is so unfortunate that we STILL have doctors out there that have ZERO compassion for people who are over weight... really they prejudice against fat people.
During this time I also found out that I had something called PCOS (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polycystic_ovary_syndrome). Little did I know at the time, but BOTH of these diseases contributed to the weight gain that I had.
I hated being tired. I hated having to set alarms just to make sure that I did not sleep thru the time that I was to pick up my kids from school. I hated that I was not a good parent. I hated that I was not a good wife, and all because I was so tired. All.The.Time.
I was fortunate enough to find a doctor that found out about my diseases, and was not afraid to run several test, and get me on the road to a better life. Needless to say, I was on the right path to wellness... BUT, unfortunately I had gained so much weight that I was embarrassed to admit how MUCH weigh that I actually gained. But here it is now. I was 366 lbs. There... I did it... actually said it out loud. At my heaviest, I was 366 lbs.
So now what? Where did I go from here? I was going to a nutritionist, trying every diet known to man, even tried diet pills and walk/ exercise. Nothing seemed to help. I was fighting an uphill battle. I began to research having surgery as an option. I researched for over a year. I talked to my doctor, who wanted to do gastric bypass, but it was going to take at least 2 years to go through the process. TWO.YEARS. I did not want to suffer for two more years, and that was a MINIMUM time frame! I happened to fall onto a website that was discussing something called The Lap-Band. I found out from a friend that there was a doctor in Mexico who was the leader in his field of Gastroenterology. I did more research, on this proceedure, and on this doctor. Was Mexico Safe? Was it Clean? Did they speak English? I asked myself all the typical questions. I found out the cost... HALF of what it would cost in the US. HALF! ok, so I have decided that I needed to check this doctor out. How was I going to get my husband to jump on this bandwagon? We knew that I would need to be the one that made the changes, since My husband is an insulin dependent diabetic, so we decided our best option was for me to try to change my situation, so that at least one of us could be around for our children. In the US it was anywhere from $23,000 to $32,000, depending on what state you were in, or what doctor you went to. Mexico was about $7,500! Ok, Mission: Get Hubby on Board with Surgery in Mexico was going into effect!!
After tons of pestering him, and showing him before and afters, and how things looked in Mexico, he FINALLY relented, and agreed to go for a consultation in Mexico, and if nothing else we make a weekend of it...
I think that one incident had a factor in this decision. We were living in AZ, and we saw some horses, and the kids wanted to go horseback riding. Well, we found out that there was a weight limit of 250 lbs... well I was 366 lbs! I told my husband and kids to go, that I would be waiting for them when they got back. My kids didn't want to leave me behind so they did not go, but I could see the disappointment in their faces.
That next week we were on our way to Mexico, He basically told me that he was only going to shut me up about it, and that if this did not work out (which he was certain that it wouldn't) then that was the LAST that he wanted to hear about Mexico, and that we would figure out how to get my surgery ... WELL, we finally made it to Mexico for the consultation. Dr. Gonzales was so patient and kind. He was generous with his time, explained all the dangers, as well as what my life would be like afterwards. He explained what I need to eat and what to stay away from, and by the end of the consultation, it was MY HUSBAND who was asking how soon I can get in for surgery!
So now it begins... There just happened to be an opening for surgery a few weeks later, so I went home and had all my blood work done, and tests, and then January 2007, I had the surgery that changed my life. and BOY, did it change my life!! So, even though the doctor tells you what it is like for the first several weeks, you just have NO idea, until you actually LIVE it. Everything for the first week must be liquid. then the next 2 weeks everything must be soft, as in soup or mashed potatoes soft. The worst part was I worked in a Nursing home, and my office was RIGHT NEXT TO THE KITCHEN. Things smelled so good, especially when you know that you cannot eat it, but I knew I had a journey to complete. FINALLY, I made to to the REAL FOOD stage. Oh. My. Goodness. things tasted so good... I just ate a WHOLE LOT LESS of it! I basically ate about 1/2 of a kids meal in a restaurant. eating at home just became easier, because I didn't have to ask for extra plates, or people looking at me weird for only ordering a cup of soup, or asking if I was SURE that was all I was going to have. People see your size and assume that you eat A LOT.
I started walking. Each day was a struggle. At first it was difficult for me to walk around the block, but soon I was walking 2, then 3 then a mile! I was walking a mile... and HIKING! ME ... HIKING!
I was beginning to experience life. A new life with my husband. A new life with my kids. A new life for me.
This was the beginning of "Emerging from MY Chrysalis".
I still have a little more weight to lose, and another surgery that I will be going through, but I invite you to follow along with me, and my journey.
Let me take you back a little further... for several years I had suffered from a Thyroid condition that went undiagnosed for 8 years. I had many doctors tell me that I was just fat and the best thing that I could do what just get off the couch and walk. REALLY... you think if things were THAT easy, then I would have thought of that myself!? It is so unfortunate that we STILL have doctors out there that have ZERO compassion for people who are over weight... really they prejudice against fat people.
During this time I also found out that I had something called PCOS (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polycystic_ovary_syndrome). Little did I know at the time, but BOTH of these diseases contributed to the weight gain that I had.
I hated being tired. I hated having to set alarms just to make sure that I did not sleep thru the time that I was to pick up my kids from school. I hated that I was not a good parent. I hated that I was not a good wife, and all because I was so tired. All.The.Time.
I was fortunate enough to find a doctor that found out about my diseases, and was not afraid to run several test, and get me on the road to a better life. Needless to say, I was on the right path to wellness... BUT, unfortunately I had gained so much weight that I was embarrassed to admit how MUCH weigh that I actually gained. But here it is now. I was 366 lbs. There... I did it... actually said it out loud. At my heaviest, I was 366 lbs.
So now what? Where did I go from here? I was going to a nutritionist, trying every diet known to man, even tried diet pills and walk/ exercise. Nothing seemed to help. I was fighting an uphill battle. I began to research having surgery as an option. I researched for over a year. I talked to my doctor, who wanted to do gastric bypass, but it was going to take at least 2 years to go through the process. TWO.YEARS. I did not want to suffer for two more years, and that was a MINIMUM time frame! I happened to fall onto a website that was discussing something called The Lap-Band. I found out from a friend that there was a doctor in Mexico who was the leader in his field of Gastroenterology. I did more research, on this proceedure, and on this doctor. Was Mexico Safe? Was it Clean? Did they speak English? I asked myself all the typical questions. I found out the cost... HALF of what it would cost in the US. HALF! ok, so I have decided that I needed to check this doctor out. How was I going to get my husband to jump on this bandwagon? We knew that I would need to be the one that made the changes, since My husband is an insulin dependent diabetic, so we decided our best option was for me to try to change my situation, so that at least one of us could be around for our children. In the US it was anywhere from $23,000 to $32,000, depending on what state you were in, or what doctor you went to. Mexico was about $7,500! Ok, Mission: Get Hubby on Board with Surgery in Mexico was going into effect!!
After tons of pestering him, and showing him before and afters, and how things looked in Mexico, he FINALLY relented, and agreed to go for a consultation in Mexico, and if nothing else we make a weekend of it...
I think that one incident had a factor in this decision. We were living in AZ, and we saw some horses, and the kids wanted to go horseback riding. Well, we found out that there was a weight limit of 250 lbs... well I was 366 lbs! I told my husband and kids to go, that I would be waiting for them when they got back. My kids didn't want to leave me behind so they did not go, but I could see the disappointment in their faces.
That next week we were on our way to Mexico, He basically told me that he was only going to shut me up about it, and that if this did not work out (which he was certain that it wouldn't) then that was the LAST that he wanted to hear about Mexico, and that we would figure out how to get my surgery ... WELL, we finally made it to Mexico for the consultation. Dr. Gonzales was so patient and kind. He was generous with his time, explained all the dangers, as well as what my life would be like afterwards. He explained what I need to eat and what to stay away from, and by the end of the consultation, it was MY HUSBAND who was asking how soon I can get in for surgery!
So now it begins... There just happened to be an opening for surgery a few weeks later, so I went home and had all my blood work done, and tests, and then January 2007, I had the surgery that changed my life. and BOY, did it change my life!! So, even though the doctor tells you what it is like for the first several weeks, you just have NO idea, until you actually LIVE it. Everything for the first week must be liquid. then the next 2 weeks everything must be soft, as in soup or mashed potatoes soft. The worst part was I worked in a Nursing home, and my office was RIGHT NEXT TO THE KITCHEN. Things smelled so good, especially when you know that you cannot eat it, but I knew I had a journey to complete. FINALLY, I made to to the REAL FOOD stage. Oh. My. Goodness. things tasted so good... I just ate a WHOLE LOT LESS of it! I basically ate about 1/2 of a kids meal in a restaurant. eating at home just became easier, because I didn't have to ask for extra plates, or people looking at me weird for only ordering a cup of soup, or asking if I was SURE that was all I was going to have. People see your size and assume that you eat A LOT.
I started walking. Each day was a struggle. At first it was difficult for me to walk around the block, but soon I was walking 2, then 3 then a mile! I was walking a mile... and HIKING! ME ... HIKING!
I was beginning to experience life. A new life with my husband. A new life with my kids. A new life for me.
This was the beginning of "Emerging from MY Chrysalis".
I still have a little more weight to lose, and another surgery that I will be going through, but I invite you to follow along with me, and my journey.
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