Life doesn't seems to ever go as planned. no matter how much you try, it never seems to happen the way that you want it to. for quite a few years, I have been wanting and waiting, and putting off getting my body lift surgery. It never seemed to be the right time... Money, kids emergency, husband laid off, then I was laid off, then finally get to a good place, and the cycle started again, hubby laid off, then I was laid off. It seems to be never ending. But I will make this happen. I have wished and longed, and waited. It will be my turn. I know it. I can feel it.
But God has other Plans... So, I had my labs done, and found out that I have anemia. And
that being said, I cannot have surgery until my labs improve. Come to find
out, my Primary Dr, never even told me that I was anemic, so (according
to my labs that I have to take every three months for my Thyroid) I have
been anemic for well over a year! In retrospect I realize that has been
the reason that I have felt quite fatigued, and feeling out of breath,
as well as having insomnia... I have also found out since then, that its
so serious that I could have passed out, and it could have lead to
heart problems. Hhmmm. Thanks to my surgeon, this has been discovered.
UNFORTUNATELY, that means that my surgery has to be postponed. This has
been so frustrating. I know that it is for my own safety, but it is so
disappointing. My surgery date was supposed to be for Friday (January
17) now I have to take a bunch of meds, and try to get my labs up, and
HOPE that I my iron levels will be up to par in a few weeks. So, who
knows WHEN I will actually be having surgery!
I have prepared
everything, I have a suitcase packed for the stay in the hospital, and
have the family ready to stand on their own for a few weeks. Now I just
need my body to cooperate!
I have taken this time to work on
some home projects that I have been putting off... I have painted rooms,
hung blinds, shelves, and pics, etc. Now my latest project has been
removing paint - 7 layers to be exact, from my bathroom cabinets, sanded
and I will be working on staining it this week.
While on my to
Church this morning, I found a beautiful old door that was being
discarded... this will be my next project... a new desk! I am going to
clean it up and re-stain it, and find some old legs, and a Plexiglas for
the top. Yup, it is all about keeping busy for the next few weeks, and
making sure I take my meds, get some walking in, and try not to over
exert myself.
This journey that I am on has been challenging. I
have waited so long for this, and it was finally here, and I feel like
it is slowly slipping out of my grasp. I have been having nightmares
about my Dr. telling me that I gained weight and now I cant have
surgery, or that he didn't like me and I would not be having surgery.
I
try not to think about things that are out of my control. At Church,
the sermon was a based around a verse that I always look to, Proverbs
3:5, very befitting for me right now. Trust in the Lord.
Always a good reminder. It is hard not to believe in God, when you are facing a major surgery, and knowing that you have to look at your own mortality, and just have to have blind faith that God will bring you thru it all....
Hopefully I will have good news soon...
